Hey 2B, I am not fully aware of everything in your sitch, but I did think of something I wanted to share and I hope it helps.
If you are in the position of trying to figure out where your r is headed, if you want to stand, etc.... I say back off from it a little bit.
I am, by no means an expert, but what I mean is this:
I think you should focus on you more and less on h and r. DBing is a great practice for whatever the outcome. Doing it effectively will help you progress and deal with things better.
So, use them! They are great techniques to help you along, regardless of how the r turns out.
Detach, get the distance, gal, focus on becoming the best you that you can. You can still keep an eye out for h, but keep the focus on you!
Whatever happens, you will be better prepared. Maybe you will catch his attention, but, you will still be focused on you! This will keep you from going in circles and help you progress forward. You will find only more positive results will come from this, rather than feeling like you are going in circles. Does this mean it is a linear shot forward? Nope. There will be moments of ups and downs, and circling around, but, hopefully you will have more ups and less of the others.
I think that after you focus on yourself, get some strength and clarity, you will have a better understanding of what you want. Your h will have had time to process on his own, and you will see where things stand from a much healthier and more stable perspective. I'm not implying you weren't those things before, but bd has a way of really disrupting what was healthy and stable. Plus it is has a way of shaking up things that we wouldn't have noticed before.
You are a good egg, 2B.... keep at it. You can do this!
