Divorced and moving out.....still hopeful

[NewB3]

I had a tough weekend with the S3.5 & S 11. Halloween was just us and my new neighborhood was lacking, so we went to grandparents area that has every home giving candy. Ex did not come although the plans had changed to walking.
Heard she had not been sleeping well. Also, talked to her father and brother about crying in front of S3.5 and missing me. Father said she has been under a lot of stress with work and such too. Funny, I reminded him of the point he made back when I talked about my D with him. "Is she sure that it is not a work stress thing that is making everything else seem bad?" Well, I am out and she has the home to herself. Still feeling that way and now missing me.
Back to me. My weekend was tough with both kids as there was a lot of arguing and back and forth aggravating. I had a talk with both of them about being calm and talking about things, instead of coming to tell Dad about he did this or that. Little one was tired and laid down on the couch. Older one sat on the other side watching TV. Me, I sat and a wave of missing her hit. I wept. I know I cannot discuss R stuff with her and have to remain upbeat. I failed this weekend. She called sunday afternoon about pickup of S3.5. I was very quiet and to the point on the phone. She asked if everything was okay. I said " yes". She then followed with, " Well if you need anything, just call me." We finished the pickup talk and got off the phone.
She arrives later and notices how clean the home is and that one room is now complete, other than curtains. Hugs the S11 several time and starts conversations with him. S3.5 does not want her there and asks her to leave. He gets upset. He took her to his room to show some new furniture. She looked in S11 room and commented on how nice and then went to S3.5 room. My door was closed.
I am trying to stay dark. I know she will have to approach me about the R. How do I stay upbeat and such around her? I want to not have much to say and be indifferent. Which is the best approach? Corey Wayne says one thing, but going dark says another. I do feel that she will reach out at some point over the holidays. I know I need to let her come to me. How can I show I am open to that w/o pursuing or looking needy?
Mr. Bond? You still here? Help me please.