Its hard because we live together and our lives are very entwined. I struggle to find any other ways to put space between myself and W. on the one hand, she has distanced herself from me a great deal. when she "needs me", its hard (in the moment) to slow down and pick apart what i should do, versus what i "used" to do, versus what we would do in an ideal, better functioning R. its also hard to figure out what is just a cruel action coming from my emotions. even when i knew telling her I would not be picking her up wine was the RIGHT thing to do in every way, i still felt guilt for "punishing" her.
I had a bit of a breakthrough last week when I realized that my W was making me responsible for her anxiety about a friend of ours knowing about our sitch and her thinking he "hated" her. its made me step back and analyze where she makes me own her stress/anxiety. Thats an area where I definitely need to draw a line and say "it was never right for me to own your stress/feelings, and its definitely not going to happen now".
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
