Yea, I get the in a hurry part. Sorry, but, it doesnt work that way. wink You dont want to skip any parts. Each and every step is important.

The ups and downs...all normal. You are grieving the loss of your marriage as you knew it. You have to go through all the stages of that. This doesnt go in a straight line. It goes round and up and through.

Yea, the friends thing...it's like they dont want to catch it, right? This is where you see who the real ones are. I was only left with one. I found an incredible therapist and had my sister, thankfully. But I still felt alone. People have a hard time dealing with things they dont understand.

So, what can you do to be among people and maybe get support? Do you belong to a church? Is there a divorcecare group in your area? Have you looked into Meetups?

I know it seems like you are all alone. I am sorry you feel that way. I know how that feels. It's hard.

When I say your marriage on a shelf, I mean, for right now, while you are trying to find strength, dont worry about it. You need to work on you. You need to find your worth. You cant do that if you are worrying about him or your marriage. It doesnt mean you dont care. It just means you are caring for you.

And oh man, no, crying isnt weak. I would be worried if you werent crying. But yes, you do need to begin to let the feelings wash over you. It will come.

Here's the thing about all of this, S. The stuff is going to be there whether you worry or not. Worrying will have no effect on the outcome.

So, that's why it's best to just put is aside and work on you. This way you make decisions from a place of strength.

Here was my plan. I had to figure out where my sense of unworthiness came from. I had to understand that other people dont get to make that call. I needed to find things that filled me up and I needed to put myself out there amongst the living.

Once I started to do that, I felt lighter. I saw that I was a pretty cool chick. LOL! People liked being around me. That made me feel better about myself.

As my confidence grew, so did my ability to see things more clearly. I realized that I didnt want my old marriage either. I also realized that there was nothing I could do to change my h's feelings. That had to come from him.

Relinquishing the idea of having control of the outcome freed me. I could only control me. That's it. Just me.

So, I continued working towards becoming my best self. I took a class. I did a little traveling. I made a few new friends. I said yes more. I said no more.

I am not going to lie, S. It was freakin hard. I didnt want to look inside. I knew there were things in there that I didnt want to confront. But I did it anyway. I was too important not to do it.

This was a journey you were meant to go on. I promise you that.

You just have to take a leap of faith. You in?