Don't know if I belong here....

[Okabe]

Issues we've had:
Finances: mostly fine. When she stopped working and was taking care of the kids sometimes when I didn't transfer money to her to cover some of her expenses she would get annoyed with me. I usually do all the grocery shopping (I work at a store) and pay the bills. When I had extra money I would get it to her, but I could be inconsistent. Not one of our greater issues.
Household chores/ labor: I do the cooking and a lot of the cleaning, most of the outdoor stuff. She did take care of the laundry, vacuuming, picking up dog waste in the back yard: since her shoulder injury and have started school I have taken on doing those too.
Work- She worked before our 2nd child was born. I have encouraged her to get a job, mostly to get out in the adult world before but she always said it would be too hard to get schedules to work.
Child raising- she gets the boys to and from school most days and helps with their school work when they need guidance. I sometimes have gotten too stressed and yelled in the past, but so has she. We both acknowledged we need to not sweat the small stuff and have done better.
Affection- I suck at it. Sometimes I'll remember and give her hugs, etc. But I tend to get wrapped up in my head and forget.
Sex- We have fought off and on about it for years. I want it more frequently (we sometimes manage 1x a month, some times longer, and for short periods throughout our relationship more than 2x a month). I tried talking about it. I suggested she initiate, so I could just be affectionate and wouldn't have to worry if I made her feel bad about coming on to her when she didn't feel close, but that didn't appeal to her. I suggested planned times, but she didn't like that idea. It has been hard to get close when we have set up a life that is not very conducive to intimacy. I go to bed early and she stays up online gaming until 2am.
Online Gaming- We have fought about that in the past, but not for a while. At her worst she was playing online MMOs 8-12 hours a day. We did fight about that because it was affecting our children. She now mostly plays at night when the boys are watching tv or going to bed. She now plays 3-5 hours a day at least. I suspect if shes told anyone about the problems we're having it would be her online game friends.
Friends- She lost one of her best friends a couple of years ago and her other best friend she barely talks to (her friend is very busy with a big family). She has complained about feeling alone. I have encouraged her to go out and do things or join an activity, but she doesn't make friends easily.
School- I support her schooling and am happy shes finally going. She works hard and I praise her for her efforts.
In-laws- I get along with her family and she gets along with mine. We go and visit her Dad and Step-mom every year for 10 days, which is fine. I have told her when I do trips just with her and the boys I like those as well because I feel less on guard and relax more: she doesn't get this and gets a little annoyed.
Organization- She has gotten mad when she has tried a new method of organizing shoes, or mail, food in the pantry, etc and I (or the boys) don't follow it (we have sometimes). That is frustrating to her.

This is just my attempt to get some ideas out about conflict and where some may be. I will keep thinking.