Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4

[Jefe]

Very quick run-down. While we were separated before we got married she became pregnant. OM1 refused to accept that it was his child and even if it was he was refusing to have anything to do with my wife any further and even refused any further communication with her for the next 5 years.

I offered to make sure the child had a 2 parent home and was well cared for along with my wife. We disagreed greatly on how/when to tell D7 and visitation but agreed to work it out as we went.

There is way more to the dynamics than this and this is a giant over-simplification of the facts. Hope took great issue with some of my version of events stated previously and even that was a vast over-simplification of what really happened.

But there you have it.

Points 1-5:

1. Do the GAL activities... Yes, working on this. Yesterday was better than the day before, today is better than yesterday, etc.. I agree.

2. Stop pursuing her. I haven't really thought of my actions as pursuing. But I will revisit.

3. See a Family Lawyer/Divorce Attorney right away. I have really wanted to avoid this. It's kind of like the fear of actually writing a will is going to cause something to happen. I'll move forward here. At the end of the day I don't really think my wife wants a divorce. But who knows.

4. Think through the worst-case scenario: She cant take the house, it's locked up in a trust. No doubt in my mind I'm keeping the kids and may even ask for child support if it gets this ugly. I am firm on my stance here and she is aware of it.

5. Start talking to Starsky about setting healthy boundaries for you and the kids. You wife has got to start to feel your detachment (last resort technique) and your willingness to move on WITH or WITHOUT her (GAL and boundaries). Always being available and acting like a lap-dog won't build respect. I understand.