Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4

[Jefe]

6. If you are being all "Christian" about romancing back your wife, think through the whole biblical counsel. You are focusing on the 70 X 7 stuff but ignoring that she isn't repenting or asking for forgiveness. You are looking at Hosea, but forgetting that he went and bought his wife back (something you can't do. Nor are you necessarily called to be an OT prophet). You are looking at the prodigal son story, but forgetting that the son has to come to his senses. You also must consider that sin (like adultery) destroys the family and the church. Nowhere in the New Testament do they advocate "nicing" a sinner into repentance or enabling them. Matthew 18 advocates an escalating form of confrontation with consequences. All the Pauline Epistles advocate "avoiding" and "handing over to Satan" an unrepentant sinner in-order to shame them in to returning to the faith and their community. People need to be made to feel the consequences of their actions. That's why it's called ex-communication. You withhold communion to wake a person up. So the practical side of Christian teaching on people like your wife is: turn up the heat. And I would argue that this is more loving that allowing a person to hurt themselves, their family, their church and their witness to the Gospel. Speak the truth in love. If you are dragging God into this, then take him seriously.

I do take him seriously. My wife quit her position at the church to pursue other more lucrative employment, not faulting her here. But it was also because she knew they were about to make some kind of move or stance about her separation from the family. She quit going to our bi-weekly bible study. She has just about quit going to church at this point, alienated her closest friends that were taking a stand against her leaving. She has all but stopped talking to her Al-anon sponsor. She has started hanging out in seedy parts of town with questionable people (OK inserting my own villainous persona on them) and sees the kids maybe twice a week for short amounts of time. If she not seeing another man she's certainly courting one. Seems like she's trying her hardest to destroy the marriage as fast as she can, on purpose. All while she posts nice Christian memes on Facebook.

Now, I'm not just a hapless victim. I have been a horrible husband and I own most of the garbage that got us here in the first place. So lest anyone think I am trying to demonize my wife, I'm not. I'm just trying to save my marriage.

I take my Christian walk very seriously and she used to, too. She brought me to God and together we have increased our walk 1000 fold.

I am open to any and all suggestions, but a one shot last resort style maneuver is not where I'm at, yet.