Sorry your here and going through this. It's a tough stitch. I'm going to do a reflective post I think in a few days, with what I have learned so far, and how I would have handled some things differently. Glad your learning from my stitch, and good luck with yours!
With respect to the MC, it seems my W uses it for validation. She's really feeling alone, and feels validated by the MC, although she does call her out on some issues. I'm really only open to it if there is no OM involved. I spent too much money and wasted my time when we did MC with the OM still in the picture.
Lately, I've been noticing that my W is extremely manipulative. She has been sending messages about one of my D6 friend's mom that she thinks likes me. Degrading her and being very accusatory. Also saying it's over, she's done, can't take it, she's been destroyed. As well as threatening suicide.
Today, she got really mad that I couldn't help her in the AM with the kids, as I'm seeing my dentist. She said it was over (yes, it's a favorite) and she could never rely on me again. I slipped up and responded that I could never trust her again, so we are all good.....not a smart thing to say at the time. Anyways, she blocked me, left me a note asking for her rings back, and had her Sister send me a text telling me to leave her alone essentially. Ironic and sad to me. I don't initiate any contact, and don't always respond.
Wonka, I agree with you. It's not on me to create esteem for my wife. I tried that for years. My W needs to get to a place where her self esteem is derived from inside. Until she does that, I don't see anything changing. I truly can't control her, and especially how she feels. I feel sorry for her, but I'm pretty much in a place where I'm ready to move on. No matter what, I will be ok. Perhaps not happy with what has occurred, but thankful for the person that I have developed into after going though this. The journey of self development continues.
