I am a woman too... and while filling her love bucket and all is well and good, if she is actively involved with OM, you do NOT want to be her fallback Mr. Nice Guy.
She will use this to further her own agenda.
I'm not saying to be a jerk, just find out where to draw the line that shows her you will not be disrespected.
Women appreciate a strong, assertive man with a heart of gold. But we do not respect men that let us get away with things we know they shouldn't.
I think being romantic and making her the centerpiece of your life IS exactly what we want. However, if we are involved with OM, this is not what we are wanting FROM YOU at that time.
We need to respect you before we can feel romantic with you.
I hope that makes sense.
Just my .02.
---(G)GGG
Fwiw, I'm with GoatGal, Wonka, Sandi and Train on this subject (all WOMEN, btw). There will be, we all pray, a time and a place for you to meet your wife's emotional needs, Jefe. Unfortunately, now is not that time. In her current wayward state, you are likely smothering her, and it's very likely that the very behaviors she would have WELCOMED from you at another time in your marriage, she now finds is killing attraction.
I have been following all along, even though I haven't been saying much. But I do not think that you can name-change "pursuit" into "romancing" and make it fit into DBing. It's more fitting of the "Piecing" stage, and you're just not there yet.
