Again, I think H is just throwing out one nighters and rings - as you said- because of his control issues. He is asserting his independence. I wouldn't say yes to anything I didn't feel comfortable with, but I would definitely let him talk about most of it. As with my H, as long as the cage door is open, he never uses it.
At one point, you will have to ask him why he feels it necessary to be with other women. Perhaps you can do those things he thinks he will be getting. Like some men fantasize about women of other nationalities because they actually think they are different in bed, like other flavors or something.
It's funny, I like to make an analogy between my H and my dogs. In my kitchen, I have two dog kennels. The dogs sleep in there, their beds are in there, and they eat in there to stop them from fighting over food. When I go to work, their kennel doors are left open. Yet, if I sneak into the house, they will be sleeping in their kennels, and they look as if they haven't gotten up all day. While I am cooking, they lay in their kennels, etc.
My H always says "If I want to go out with the boys w/o you, I don't want a fight." (Something his XW did to him) I say, sure, you're free to go. Do you know how many times in 7 years together he has gone out w/o me? Four. He always winds up inviting me along. Why? Because I am a super cool chick and lots of fun, just like you are.
Why on earth would your H want to go anywhere w/o you? Just make it clear, if he goes out for a night with the boys, so will you. Not tit for tat, just so that you are not sitting at home. Then, have a better time than he does. Works every time for me.
He always winds up inviting me along. Why? Because I am a super cool chick and lots of fun, just like you are. 
