claire #9

[GoatGal]

Claire,

I think the note you sent had just the right sentiment. All the rest is coming from a place of pain...

But you really are mind-reading here.
You're not done unless you want to be. Don't base it on a short note he wrote.

It seems you're reading quite a bit into those very few words he wrote.
The fact is, none of us really have any idea what he's thinking or doing. Not really. He probably doesn't know himself, and even if he does, it could change on a dime.

I know, we LBSs do this all the time, deciphering every little word or phrase or punctuation mark, looking for clarity, looking for clues.

The point is, you just can't know that he is trying to communicate all the things you are concerned that he might be.
He might have really just wanted to acknowledge you. That's a GOOD THING.
Don't make it more than it is.

What if he meant it in the nicest way possible, as an opening to R and you unleashed some emotional stuff on him about your M ending...?
How would you feel then?

Best to think the best of him and accept it as an expression of his affection for you. As Maybell said, it's more than most of us get.

My bomb drop was May 2013, but GUBU had OW and had checked out long before then. He reiterated many times how he was "done" and was "moving on" and "would never want to stay with me" and more... Yet. He's still here.

(Well, not "here" here, but he's hardly gone, either.)

It has only been in the last month or so that I've seen glimpses of the man I used to know.

Even my H's crazy texting from the other night swung from one pole to the other.

So--as my H himself used to say: "Don't borrow a jack".

(Long story, but you don't go to the trouble of borrowing a jack to fix your flat tire unless you know for a fact the tire is flat.)

You're borrowing heartache for yourself that may or may not be real.

I get feeling like you've had it, but make that about YOU and what you want for your future, not on assumptions about what your H might or might not be thinking or feeling.

Okay?