Thanks. I've been sitting here for the last hour thinking about this. Clearly I'm not detached... from my marriage at least.
I've drafted a long email that basically says, "I understand why you walked away, and I understand the fear of trying to reconcile. Its so risky. But I'll never regret choosing to fight for our marriage, or believing that love is a choice, or that with effort and support, relationships and love can be rebuilt.
And that I hope he is on a path to peace and happiness.
I mean, at this point I feel like I have nothing left to lose. The fact that he can acknowledge today, and write those words make me feel like he is detached. He's made his peace with his decision. He doesn't spew at me, he's not acting crazy, he is generally a good, attentive dad. He has just decided he is DONE. And there is no going back.
So what do I have to lose by validating what I've heard him say in the past, (which was that I didn't understand), that I actually share his fears, and that I don't regret choosing a more optimistic mindset.
I'm going to sit and think if I can accept the worst- case scenario. That's probably that he's in love with someone else. Or that while he "understands" what I'm saying, he still is resolved. I'm going to imagine those responses, decide if I can handle that, and then decide whether to send it to him or not.
I know I shouldn't send him anything (I already sent a 2 sentence response: " Thank you for this note. Yes, I will always have something to celebrate today-- our D"
