For what it's worth, you're not alone. I'm in Maybell's camp.
Not a mention from H this year on our 23rd, but that's a big improvement over last year, where he ignored the day completely, was nasty to me, made me cry, and this even after receiving a card from me along with a plan to go horseback riding together. (We never went.)
That day he picked a fight so he could get out of the house. I found out later that he went to the mall and bought an expensive gift for OW.
Clearly on that day she was more important than I was.
Oh, then he rerouted the credit card statement so I would't see the bill come to the house. Sweet!
He then went to a bar where phone records indicate he spent the entire time talking to her. He wandered in later on that afternoon and picked another fight that drove me from the house for a three hour drive. I assume this was so he could continue to converse with her. (I think they were actually breaking up at this point, so lots of drama! Must have chapped his hide to get caught not even a week after it was over! Still.)
Stupid me. Still didn't have a clue.
WORST. ANNIVERSARY. EVER.
You have my sympathy however.
I wonder, when does it stop hurting when they say things like your H said to you, suggesting such a final ending? However, you do realize that you are reading a whole lot more into that then I am?
He also said a bunch of nice things!
Typical for us though, to focus on the one thing that is like a dagger to the heart. Don't forget, these are just words. For all you know, this is him thinking you're done with him.
It stinks, I know. But it I were in your shoes, I would just thank him for the card and say it was nice.
And it was nice... best to acknowledge something compassionate he does for you, and the compliments he gives you. It means he sees you and appreciates you on some level. Let him know you appreciate it, even if he didn't say what you'd hoped.
I'll bet it was a struggle for him to decide whether or not to mention the day, and then what to say to you.
It took a bit of guts, although I'm sure it's hard to appreciate that, considering.
You can still reward yourself for remaining married through thick and thin. And that is an accomplishment. So--Happy Anniversary from US.
((((claire))))
---(G)GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
