H's MLC #5

[2BHappy]

Spur of the moment R talk happen today based on the note I left that H did not know exactly what I wanted to talk about...

SO..I will try to recap and keep in important details,,

I started off with H we are friends and great parents correct? H agreed.

I told him if that is all we can be, that I will be ok with that and that I did not want to keep waiting or hoping for a better M.

We kinda both hit a lil on the past especially my H he talked about when I was a WAW and how long he dealt with it and that now I want to put a time table on how long I want to deal with it since the tables are reversed. I told him its been over a year he said he was not counting he has been just taking care of his business , work and family and was bascially ignoring our M and R, was not putting any thought into US.

I told him I just wanted to know either way and that I did not want him to be staying to avoid "hurting" me and that I wanted to either be working on a better M or working on moving on without it.

Told him I deserve better, and we both deserve to be happy and that we will always be friends and great parents.

He said it sounded like I was giving him an ultimatium and that he did not want to be rushed/forces into making a decision ..

I told him I did not want to force anything but he had to know I'm getting tired of the current situation and that 3x's now he has told me he would "think" about what he wanted to do, make a decision and each time he has not put any thought into it...and that I'm just tired and waiting to move on with my life,,told him it seems like he will take until I'm old and dead to decide and that I deserve to be allowed to move forward if he does not want to make a better R and M with me.

I told him neither one of us are "bad" and that we both should have what we need and to be happy...I tried to tell him that I would not ever hate him or be angry and that I have moved on from that I have worked thru those feelings but I want more and I this is NO LONGER ok or working for me.

H said he did not want to make the wrong decision and he does not know what he wants...

At that time I ended the conversation..went out to run errands came back home to watch comdey,,H comes into the room where I was to tell me I could watch TV in basement (where he was) I told him I wanted to watch this and did not want to change his show.

Before I ran errands he hinted that he needed to take his car to shop,,I did not offer,,he needs to ask me and he did not so he had his cousin take him,,,I did not even want to offer.

I"M TIRED!!!!!!

But I was not emotional, nor mean when I return,,,just in different....

H seems to be asking/needing more time,,,but I know he just told me he is not sure if he wants ME, if he wants to work on a better M a better R, and that hurt and that makes me even more ready to be done!!!

NOW WHAT???????