When I first heard about the A, one of my first thoughts was "When did we last kiss? Was that the last time we'll ever kiss again?"
The thought was unbearable. So I tried to forgive him.
You can see how that worked out. Yes, I got to kiss him again, and even ML. But without doing the work to repair the relationship, it was worse than just sex. I felt used, and I felt like I was competing with her.
If we both do the work to change ourselves, I'll probably still be aware of her for a long time. But that's all it will be. Just awareness, that I can dismiss. If we do what's needed to truly reconcile, she won't be in my bed with us. (Assuming HE is, which is by no means a given!!)
Hope that helps.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
