Mozza (2)

[GoatGal]

Mozza,


What jim said above is probably true.

Write this down and repeat as needed:

HOW MY WIFE FEELS OR WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT WHAT I DO IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

If you are acting in accordance with your values and ethics, if you are being courteous, but putting yourself first in light of her choices which devalue you as husband, you HAVE NOTHING TO EXPLAIN OR APOLOGIZE FOR.

You do what you know to be right. You say little about it either way. Let your actions speak for you.

How she feels about this is her problem. Let her feel what that feels like.
That's the first step for her starting to respect you and understand that the crows she released are coming home to roost.

She's not SUPPOSED to like it.


And if it's not imperative, I'd hold off on any big discussions about anything. It can easily devolve into a R discussion or with you losing your cool.
I'd hold off on lunches or anything else that keeps you in her orbit.

Be busy. Put her off until YOU are ready to meet her with your agenda, your validating skills ready to go, and your PMA and calm, collected demeanor firmly in place.

If you're going to go into the center ring with the untamed tigress, you'd better make sure you've got your whip, chair, and a well-fitting top hat!

And anytime you deal with W, even via text, "calm, cool, and confident" is what you need to project.

Always.

Make sense?

That said. Always be kind, courteous, and civil. But don't worry about her being "upset" that you're not doing what she wants.
Do you think she cares how upset you are right now?
Do you want her to think you believe it's ok that she's with OM?

The past is the past. You can't undo it now by being super nice.
Now is the time to stand firm and show her a man she can respect.
Later on you may have the opportunity to soften towards her and be more comforting. But not now while she's behaving this way. That's just rewarding bad behavior.

I'm not saying to be curt or cold, but yeah. She's not gonna like it when you don't give her what she wants.

Be prepared for her trying to use this against you.

"See? I knew you were not going to be supportive/you're being mean to me/ you don't care about me/you're using the kids against me...."

Accusations and blaming will be next on the agenda if what she's doing isn't working for her. So prepare yourself.

---(G)GGG