Married young, W had affair w/ coworker

[UpperCu]

W has been cake eating with our money (not literally, she doesn't even like cake =D) while she's been out of town this weekend so I text her to discuss it. I asked her to not use my credit card for anything but gas since she had been charging that card for restaurants and alcohol; she replied right away that she agreed and I sent another message right away to discuss how we would be spending money, I laid out a plan and asked for her input. She ignored my text, so after 2 days and a few transactions out of line with my proposed plan, I sent another message again today. She called me to discuss, acting like she hadn't seen my first message When she called today she said "okay so what do you want me to do?" And I said "I don't want to tell you what to do, I just want to discuss it with you." She suggested we just spend our savings for living expenses for now until she gets her first paycheck. I laid out my plan again, which is the same plan we have used the past 3 1/2 years... Basically we have one account for spending/groceries/etc., one account for bills on autopay/monthly expenses and charge gas to my credit card (she is an auth user), which is paid off from money placed in the bills account. I suggested if we run out of money in the spending account we should discuss what to do at that point. She agreed to this... We'll see how that goes; if she continues to be irresponsible and uncommunicative about it, I plan to take steps to remove her from my credit card, change my direct deposit, etc. I know I need to protect our family money and show her I'm ready to move on with or without her.

I want to ask if she saw OM this weekend, but think it might be best to wait until she gets home this evening or later this week. I'm trying to keep our conversations positive while holding firm to my boundaries. If I can confirm whether she saw OM or not, I'll prob be posting for advice on next steps.

She mentioned her best friend of 10 years called again to tell her she does not support W's decisions and that she doesn't want W in her life as an influence on her future children, dragging her down, etc... Ouch! I exposed the A to this friend and her H before finding DB... W had some nasty things to say about this former best friend.