The Goddess and GUBU: Square Dancing at the Triple GGG Ranch

[GoatGal]

Yeah, beatrice, we independent types are atypical.

I saw a show recently (one of many enlightening programs I watch to understand how other people work since it doesn't come naturally) that was all about dating: Alpha males, Beta males, Alpha 1/2, submissive females, dominant females, independent females.

Granted, not all that scientific, but an interesting commentary on human nature.

Supposedly, most men are attracted to submissive females. Duh!
However, many men get involved with domineering/dominant type females and get frustrated with them.

Truly independent women (who have no need to dominate and only want a equal, strong partner) are harder to pair up. We need a man who is also independent, but loving and strong.

I don't WANT to have to be the one to decide/fix/plan/initiate. It drives me nuts. I would like to do exactly half! I don't want to be the "I don't know, whatever YOU want, darling.. I have no will of my own..." type either.

(Interestingly, this is H's OW type to a tee. Someone he can feel superior to and "in-charge". The fact that he was the top boss over her and everyone else probably didn't hurt her perception of him as a powerful man. Which he is not. I'm a lot harder to feel superior to, and if that's what he needs to feel in order to function sexually, count me out.)

I don't "need" to be right or have things "my way". I want a partner who is confident enough in himself to have a strong voice in the R.

This does not describe my H. Before, during, OR after.
It may look as though I'm dominant, and no doubt H even feels that way.

But it's because he is PASSIVE. It falls to me time and time again to make decisions.... but that's not the way I want it.

I don't want to be the one to tell him what to do. But he asks... because he doesn't seem to be able to figure it out on his own.

This is one of the things I've learned. Who I am and what I need.
I do not need, nor do I want passive, covert-aggressive, Mr. (Pretend) Nice Guy.

The "I'll just act like a nice guy, but do what I want behind your back. Nanna Nanna Boo-Boo, stick your head in doo-doo."