wife needs time to figure things out, need advice

[mandown]

So this weekend passed and I spent most of it alone with the my boys. W spent some time with us on halloween, it was my S12's bday. Sat, she went told me towards the end of the day that she was spending the night at her friends house. Of course, I didn't want her to go, I asked her to stay with us. She said no. She then told me that she was going out Sunday again with her friend. I asked if she could stay with us and watch a movie at home or something. She is always gone every weekend.

I asked her once each time. When she said no, I left it alone. She did bait me into a R talk....I know, goes against DB'ing. She told me that in her mind, we are S....I replied with "our definitions of S are totally different. All I want is for you to not give up on me just yet." She replied with the usual, I'm not sure, I don't know story. The talk didn't last long. She said that she will save up money and move out. I told her that that's not what I wanted, but if she feel she must then I won't stop her.

When she got home last night, she asked if I wanted her to sleep upstairs, away from me. I replied with a no, I like having you next to me. I try my damnest to be a dgree of cold towards her, but when she is in front of me it's very hard.

I know I have stated thsis before, but I need to work on goig semi'dark. When my anxiety hits, I try to distract myself with somehting else. I tend to go around my kids to force me to no be soo sulky. I know it would not be wise for me to leave on a long term kind of deal. But, would it be a good idea to leave for a couple of weeks just to take the eadge off of things? I think that way my kids wouldn't be soo affected.