So what should I be doing, then, 25? Trust me - I do not say that with and ounce of snark -- I honestly don't know. I am going to IC to deal with the type of things that you identified - she is going to IC for the same, and we are going to joint MC (though not "M'd") to try to find our footing. The standing order right now from our MC is communicate, communicate, communicate....something we both did not do well.
Hopefully, as it relates to your question, we are driving toward a point where the annoyances and nerve-wracking (which yes, will occur) will not push us to the brink again because we are working on developing healthier skills.
There is a lot to plow through, and I am charging forward with love and compassion for myself, her, and our son. But yeah, I struggle at times.
