Thanks Sandi2,
Made love to my W last night. It went like this, your comments are appreciated.
There has been a potential OM that I identified although I am not 100% sure. I was at a event different than her and my kids and she texted me that she was going to the divorced OM house with the kids to play and see some things on the farm (she stated later that he asked the kids and they were excited so decided to go. I finished the event and called her (and was going to go over) but she said that they were almost done. I told her that we were going to talk when she got home. I have addressed this before stating that I believe that there may be a emotional connection and the OM and it was a threat to our relationship and family (like 2-3 times).
When she got home I was ready to close the door on the whole thing, and get on with my life - she rejected everything - saying things like "I didn't think that you would respond this way"..."I will never do that again without you"..."I am sorry that this hurt you but he is your friend too." My gut tells me one thing but other than how she acts (or how I presume she acts) I have no valid proof....if I did I would not recover and it would end.
I was distant that night and she tried to catch my eye, followed me into other rooms, she drank too much. When we went to bed she initiated sex, I was going to refuse but hey....
Afterward she said that was confusing and is talking about space and professional help for herself. I stated that she needs to seek that out if it helps her be happy.
So yea, I am disconnected if I want to be (I was ready to tell her to sleep in the other room if she wanted and I would not come to her, I was ready to tell her that I wanted her to sleep in the other room, I was ready to tell her to move out....these are not what I want and it will kill me but I need her to figure it out).
I also told her that if she sleeps in our bed that I will reach out to her and hold her because I love her...so tough &*(# DB Last Resort rules...I am not fake and if she does not want it then she does not want it.

My anger of this situation is only suppressed by my love of her and my kids.

W-43 H-41 M-19 T-21
Kids S-15 D-13 S-11
OM/EA/PA suspected 7/4/14
Talk of Seperation 7/5/14
Slept in same bed, held each other nightly until 2/1/15
W moved out 2/1/15
I am moving on