No contact from H all weekend. I feel cautious about initiating a contact, too. I've let him initate most of them. All an experiment to feel out when is good to reach out to him... I'm moving in with him this week, maybe next weekend(which would be the latest I should get stuff out of my apt)- but I don't know when, exactly. He "wasn't ready" for boxes last weekend, and he acted like he was gonna let me know, so I'm kind of waiting for him to let me know I can move stuff over there.. Especially since my last contact from him was a bit alien, I am pulling back. Totally a game of testing waters. Think I've really identified his state of mind, but I'm cautious about my part, since I don't want to contact too much or seem eager. At the same time, I wonder if my pulling back agitates his suspicion(om?) about me and makes him react by pulling back some too? Of course being WAS mode right now, it's easy for him to pull back no matter what. Think I've had a pretty good mix of "own life" and being warm, so maybe it's just that he's slow coming around. When I don't contact and then he does, he usually seems more eager/interested to talk to me, but also has the cautious vibe, like afraid of getting too close since he has no clue what I'm up to? That will prob improve when I move in, like maybe have more trust since I am around more. Cautious cat. Funny he even said once he is a big cat, lol.
Is any of this clear from the outside? Think H doesn't believe that I really want to stick with him, even though I have said I do at intervals? (and since I as WAS at first)
H's email about the SF job on Friday, took me straight back to bomb time, b/c that's how he reacted when he thought I was unhappy with him and wanted to go to SF, he started pushing it. I SHOULD go there, he WANTS me to. Look how happy I was when I came back from my visit. "It's fate for us to split"....him regaining control? It had to have been a total front, and it's too bad I didn't see through it at the time. I was in WAS mode and I agreed with him- yes I do want to go to SF, you don't care about me and then I moved out on him. I have told him a bunch of times in the last few mo. it doesn't matter where I live, I don't want a D, etc..I'm not planning on SF, but maybe he doesn't trust or believe me. Perhaps that email was some kind of cautious test. Recommendations on responding to his one? Thanks for the email, lots of great jobs on west coast in general- don't have plans for going to SF though- kind of thing?
Likely he'll call in the next day or two, maybe I'll reach out if he doesn't.
Last edited by rj2; 03/29/0401:00 AM.
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
