The Goddess and GUBU: Square Dancing at the Triple GGG Ranch

[GoatGal]

Beatrice,

You're right, of course. And I am aware of his incapabilities. But on some level I am feeling like I've just had enough.

There is a fear that he will quit therapy (as he did the last time he went many moons ago, and even recently before this last go-round) that if he makes changes, they will not stick, that he is RIGHT. He has problems and they are insurmountable.

I mean, at this point, I'm pretty much asking for him to change core parts of his personality. How likely is that to happen?


To have him become affectionate, open, give up all his unhealthy coping mechanisms, learn to communicate like an adult, dump the passive-aggressive stuff, learn how to please me sexually, be more fun, have better self-esteem, learn how to cooperate on projects and plan ahead, how to respond to disagreement without feeling attacked, to enjoy life, to adore me, to be grateful for the life we share, to take responsibility for his actions, to have integrity, and to be someone I can learn from as well. To be someone I can admire and respect.

Yes, MLC took some of this from him, but this experience has pointed out a lot of things to me about our previous R that I was unaware of, mostly because he is very manipulative and hid things from me.

Now that I know a lot of those secrets, those will have to change too. That's an awful lot to ask of someone who at best is ambivalent about me as any kind of partner at all.

That's where I'm at.

The only thing I keep returning to is that he was the only man in my life that I ever considered marrying. That says something.

I am picky---there haven't even been many men I've wanted to date, not since I was in my 20's and fairly naive.

So that's the round pen I'm riding around in circles today.

---(G)GGG