Crimson....piece by piece by piece......

[25yearsmlc]

Hi everyone.

Well, things have continued to improve at a very decent pace. At times, I am genuinely shocked. I often wonder if this is "too good to be true".

I can't underscore what I am about to say enough - but, there has been a major revelation about some SEVERE childhood traumas that plagued her for nearly a decade of her life. Really, really, nasty stuff that, without a doubt, played a role in our marriage. For all intents and purposes, she literally locked away nearly all of these events and the memories surrounding them - her IC basically assigned it as PTSD - which I think is a very accurate description based upon the severity of the events. She is working through them in a brave, impressive manner and I am doing my best to support her.

To my TOTAL shock and surprise, she said the other night that the traumas in her life played such a role in our marriage that the divorce wasn't really my fault. I still accept my role - I was a contributor for certain....but there was MAJOR damage she was lugging around that I had no idea about. Just to hear her say that was a moment in which my soul could actually breath after the last 3 years.

I, like many, asked on this board what ever happened to the GOOD memories that she had of us. She basically told me this week that in order to do what she felt she had to do she had to lock away ANY and all good memories of me. That made sense.

I guess she's saying that she had to vilify you, to leave. Okayyy but what happens the next time she's deeply wounded by you? I mean, chances are even YOU will get annoying or on her nerves...

So....we have been keeping a journal together where we both will jot down positive memories that we have with each other. It has been very helpful.

I am keeping my IC up, and our JC as well.....we are doing great, dare I say!

Crimson

We are all pulling for you!