FundDad, what is the time frame for divorce in your state? By that I mean when does the divorce petition become final?
Don’t discuss the divorce petition. Let her question her decision about filing the divorce. If you “take care” of the situation she doesn’t have ownership into the solution. She started the process so she has to take ownership into the solution. She knows this.
Here is what I want you to do for tomorrow:
She said it would help if you took the kids to school. Good. She is reaching out. So you are going to take this one step further.
What else needs to be done that she hasn’t asked you to do?
You said that you feel you became a “big child in her eyes to manage.” Okay. Now is your chance to show you have grown up. And a grown up recognizes problems and finds solutions without being told.
What will she need tomorrow? And how can you proactively take care of it in a seamless manner? Remember, she takes care of things every day without you noticing. Start noticing.
For example, from this day forward you should be aware that when you bring the children home late she has to get them showers and to bed. It is difficult to manage this if she has to go to bed early. Offer a solution the next time you pick them up so she is aware that you are aware of the stress placed on her.
The goal is to get her off the anger train. Based on the last couple of text messages you set her off pretty easily.
I think she feels you are obtuse. So we need to change her opinion of you. I think once you start showing you pay attention and effectively problem solve she will allow herself to relax.
