I can totally relate to not telling people the stories of your truth because it's too embarrassing and they'd think badly of how he treated you and how could you possibly stay? I really get that.
The situation you described... H meeting up with a single female coworker, very late, and him not seeing your perspective. My H had done the same thing and couldn't just come out to say that it felt good to feel wanted (that was me trying to see his perspective). Instead he defended himself and made me feel insane and small. You're right, it says a lot about him.
