Regarding the dating, pseudo-dating, platonic friendships...here is my take. Just my opinion! ...It is a slippery slope. I'm still married, and don't want to do anything I wouldn't do if we were happily M. I don't think there's anything wrong with platonic friendships with the opposite sex, but I do think it is dangerous to hang out independently, one-on-one with someone of the opposite sex outside of the M. You are always flirting with edge of "too intimate" of a conversation.
I say this form experience. I became friends with a OW from work a couple of years ago. We kept both of our S's informed, we mainly talked about our kids, things we hated at work, whatever. At some point, though, it crossed the line. We started complaining about our S's to each other. It never became overtly flirty, but there were definitely a couple of exchanges that I was thinking, "I really think this has gotten to an unhealthy place," and, "Now I know how people can have affairs." I started looking forward to seeing her everyday, going to lunch with her, etc. And I do think it robbed some intimacy from my own M. It was one of many nails in the coffin of my M.
I'm not saying every opposite sex friendship will lead to an EA or PA, but I think it is an unnecessary, dangerous slope to step onto. And again, I'm not telling anyone here what to do, just offering my opinion. It's up to everyone to decide for themselves what they're comfortable with in their M, and also what they might do differently while they have a WAS vs a happy M.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
