Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4

[Hope414]

Jefe,

You are wrong--it is you. God may have placed the desire to do the act but you made the decision to follow through with the action.

[Jefe]

[Ahoy]

Jefe, that's amazing about the pictures. And the best part of it is that this is something that is also good for your daughter as well. You are widening the circle of love and care for her in a truly selfless way. I can only imagine how hard it must be, but I'm impressed with how you are handling it.

[Jefe]

A little blogging,

Wife texted and called several times yesterday checking in, after work, an so on. Nice longer type conversations. I enjoyed them.

Had a blast trick or treating with the kids at my mom's house and they will be spending the weekend over there.

Wife texted and called this morning, kind of a sweetish conversation (Maybe I'm just reading into it) and then came by the house to drop off some laundry. She was getting very close while she was here and I let her. My gosh she looked so beautiful today.

I'm doing some acts of service for her today.

She has to work this afternoon and so do I.

Appointment for first laser tat removal is this Wed. Starting moral inventory with sponsor tomorrow.

OK, boring update. Still praying like crazy for my marriage and everyone else on this board.

[Hope414]

Jefe,

Did you say to your wife, "My gosh you look beautiful today?"

If not, do it. She needs to hear it.

If you did say it...good for you.

[Jefe]

No, I did not say it today. I thought about it, wasn't sure if I should at that particular time.

I agree, she needs to hear it. Often.

[Jefe]

Blogging:
Well, the last half of yesterday and today have been different. She has been distant and dim. Last night was the first time in weeks that she did not call or text to tell me she's ok and how her day went. I texted her this morning making sure she got home ok last night and she did not offer much else. She did not go to church today that I know of.

Sometimes I work special events with a friend of my who owns a boutique/high endy coffee service. I will never understand why people will line up to pay $5-6 for all these crazy coffee and warm drinks, but they do.
Last night he worked a free family festival in a neighboring suburb that had all types of food, and live bands (Blues Traveler) So I got to work that from 3-10:30. Lost of fun and it was just cool enough that we stayed really busy almost the entire time. That was great for keeping my mind busy. The sad part was seeing all the families there and wishing My family was too. But I didn't dwell on it much.

Today I went to Sam's to get some shopping done, picked up the wife a few things as an act of service gesture. I had no idea, though, how much this store was going to emotionally affect me. We haven't been able to shop there since we went full self employed about 12 months ago and when we did shop there we always did it together. It's a stupid store for pete's sake. I found myself tearing up on one of the isles. Then I'm thinking to myself, why can't I get a grip?

Looking forward to the kids coming home this evening. I miss them.

[Hope414]

Based on previous interactions this is not a good sign. Something is going on.

Send her a text that says, "I forgot to tell you how beautiful you looked yesterday. Remind me to tell you today."

Jefe, every time you wife engages in withdrawing behavior she follows it up with a lashing event.

Preempt it this time.

[Jefe]

Well, I just got some Intel that she was with Johnny the night before she told me she was going to start dating. So, I'm feeling pretty foolish and stupid now. Guess I know what she was doing last night.

[Jefe]

Crap, Hope. We cross posted. I don't think t can do that considering what I just found out. I want to throw up right now. She want to come over after work and I don't want her here. She lashed out at the festival because she was F'ing around the night before.