25, you are a tough cookie! And that is why I am here. The only other person who has even attempted to push me hard is my IC... and she hasn't come close to the folks on this forum.
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Also, why do you believe HE KNOWS you have changed? Not asking IF you changed but how or why you believe HE noticed at all?
I've thought about this a lot, and spent some time last night looking back through old emails. He has said and written an acknowledgement that I've shown bravery and grace. He's said that he respects me more now (specifically seeing how well I'm handling being a single mom) than he did when we were together. (Let's set aside for a moment the implication that he did not have much respect his W who was dealing with major anxiety and depression, including undiagnosed PPD...)
Unlike some other LBS's here, I don't really get any spew. I get acknowledgement and thanks for being flexible, or kudos for being a great mom.
He's made comments when he saw that I had done some cooking (a 180 for me), or noticed when I was driving more confidently (there were a couple of times he was a passenger while I was driving recently).
The last time we spoke about our R, a few months ago, he said he was happy that I seemed to be doing so well, that I should be proud of my progress, but that he 'didn't see a married future for us.'
But, I have to face it. He is OUT. And if he's not out, he's very far from being ready to tell me he's had second thoughts.
As for finances, that is definitely an area I need to work on. I'm embarrassed to admit that.
