still holding on - 5

[u-turn]

My old thread is about to lock so I thought I'd start a new one

Link to end of old thread #4
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2503106#Post2503106


and it seems I am entering a new chapter anyway.


From Sandi2

This is a major challenge for you. Perhaps you do the same thing in other relationships.

As a former WAW, I can assure you that pressure will not work on her. Training yourself to interact without pressure or emotional blackmail will be work for you. She is not going to work "with" you on the MR until you do this work on yourself.

Anytime the LBS is improving themselves......there is progress!

Thanks Sandi - I never though of myself as adding pressure to anyone, especially my W, but maybe I am just blind to it.

Anyway,
W told me yesterday that I should file for divorce and if I don't, she is going to. She is prepared to dissolve our marriage now.

This morning the same. She wants to proceed this way and asked me how I though I wanted to do it, through lawyers or an amicable split (no fault). She said that she is taking "the fall" for this. She says she knows it is her fault.

I am not shocked by this nor really upset (and that concerns me - after all my emotion, when the words are actually spoken, they had little effect on me).

I am just processing this right now.

I did tell her that I did not want to divorce, but I will not stand in her way.