The problem is that throughout the whole process, you kept having "expectations" of how you thought your W should act. Then when she didn't, you would get upset and then go back on your "changes". Those changes are for you to be a better man regardless of whether or not your W reacts to those changes.
Go back and read DB. Filing for D isn't slowing it down. You're using it as a ploy to trick your W into going back to you. It doesn't work that way.
In the cases where it did wake up the WAS, it was only because the LBS was absolutely done with the relationship and didn't really want the WAS any more.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
