Maybell, I totally agree that going on dates with a romantic intent while you are still married and while you know that you're not in the right head space to begin a real relationship is a no-no.
HOWEVER, going out with people with the clear intention of building friendships, and drawing clear boundaries when it comes to expectations, is a different matter. (I went on a platonic "date" last night, as you know.) I don't intend to date romantically until well after our D, and even then I know it will take me some time to feel complete within myself before I can open myself up to the idea of another relationship.
But in the meantime, don't be afraid to meet new folks and have some fun. I joined a lot of Meetups, and that's widening my social circle in a non-romantic way that feels good.
My H looks rough too, with his spotty beard, and he's put on weight, and his hair is a mess. Even so, when I see him, it's hard to let go of all the emotions that have built up around this person over the last 15 years.
Like you, I plan to backburner the H for a while and move on with life "as if." I need to turn my attention completely away from him. I'm guessing I should also turn down social invitations from him while he's seeing the OW?
Keep us posted on the job front! Hugs!
Last edited by Ahoy; 11/02/1403:48 PM.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
