H's MLC #5

[2BHappy]

Daring & Job

Thanks for the support

My Father is doing OK, but not sure how he will be after he heals from surgery, he is very combative and has to be tied to bed, he did not know who I was, he did recongize his siter.

My mom went with me to hospital and her and I got into an arugement, which I apologize for my part...she admitted seeing my dad like that reminded her of my stepfather who had brain cancer and passed away...she was also upset about it being her mom bday also deceased...so it was a very hard emotional day for me yesterday.

Now I keep having pains in my upper right back area, not sure if its stressed related or not.

H took son to breakfast this morning, invited me but I told him my back was hurting and he and son needed some time together with just them, H was a lil upset but I did not want to go or felt the need to go.

Before H left for work yesterday I left him a note, asking him if he had thought about what we discussed a couple weeks ago and that I needed to know what his thoughts were.... I did not really expect him to address the note and he did not, but I wanted him to know I still expected him to be thinking about what he really wants. I'm getting tired of "standing".

I know I also brought up our R with a hint earlier this week and then again with the note yesterday,,,I will now TRY to wait to see if H will address our R at all in any way any time soon...I know he may not and asking is not going to "make" him address it.

I just dont want him to be surprised IF I finally make up my mind to end this whatever this is between he and I.

I'm starting to need some comfort othen then myself I want to lean a lil on someone else to just rest for a while,,,tired of trying to hold it all together for everyone trying to keep the peace.

Praying this on/off pain in my back is nothing serious praying its not stressed related...I dont want to be making myself sick over this F UP M.