The bomb dropped 6 months ago in June 2014, her mother who lives overseas came to stay and thats when the bomb dropped. My W moved out with her mother 2 months ago and we told the children just before she moved out what was happening. They are 2 boys aged 10 and 12.
I am devastated, I did not see it coming, I love her intensely.
My W has applied for the D and it will complete once finances have been resolved and the court order issued.
We have attended mediation and we share the kids 50/50 and the finances are more or less resolved (it was difficult as it seemed that it had all come down to money). I still dont want a D but it seems it will happen.
I have been DBing and after failing for a while I have started to Detach quite successfully (in actions but in my heart I am struggling to detach).
It brings me to my children which is huge worry for me. They have blamed my WAW. When they spend time with me they talk about her in a way that is not acceptable (I make it clear it is not acceptable to them and reassure them that their mother loves them and everything will be ok). They continually ask me to fix the relationship, they keep telling me not to D. They ask questions based on what ifs for example "What if Mum wanted to come home ?" "What if you wrote a love letter ?" endless what ifs.
I am struggling to answer their questions with answers that are best for them, they are begging for the big R.
They tell me when they speak to my W about it she either ignores them, changes the subject or gets annoyed and this has frustrated them. I tried to speak to my W in a non confrontational way about the children but she says they are fine and its a transitional phase.
I would really appreciate some guidance when trying to deal with this.
