still holding on - 4

[PeterV2]

Yeah I agree. There's a lot of care here. I eternally grateful to all contributors, great and small.

It's coming up to a year since my W left the house. And she still not coming home yet. Takes the patience of Job. Every month I too want reconciliation. I drive away from my W's place with my head all filled with what I want to say - to tell her to give her head a shake, to tell her it's over, to tell her to come home, to ask her what is she scheming.

But then I ask myself: will what I say bring us closer together, or drive us apart.

Although I really want to speak my mind, I then realize that if I do it will just drive us apart and so I chose my words with love in my heart.

That's the choice I make. You may call me a doormat. But I don't care what you call me. I'm trying to save my marriage. And that's a noble cause. I do what I have to do even as she rewrites our history. I know she's struggling too but hides it beneath personal attacks (spewing). Every once in a while I see a glimmer of hope - she says something that tells me she still has hope to reconcile with me.

U-turn, I know it's a marathon and thank you for your continuing support - thank you everyone for all your support. I know it means a lot to all of us struggling here on this forum. We do learn a lot from each other - even as we slip up in our individual sitches. Hey, that's the nature of the beast. Pick ourselves up, brush off and carry on. Noble. Persistent. Hopeful.