Wife in denied but ongoing affair, what to do???

[blndsid]

So, after much soul searching and talking to the handful of people who know my sitch, I decided to file for D on 10/28/14, officially filed 10/29. I talked to the ATTY while W was away but I put off a decision until she got back, to see if her attitude had changed. Her staying out until 1:00a that night, with no contact after she said she was boarding in Chicago about 6:45p, was something I see now as another sign of disrespect to me. Part of that includes hearing a message from now OM3 that he was on the way to meet her at a bar that night. I checked her text records on the phone bill and this is the guy she text as soon as she landed that night. Then through about 11:00p, with a break until a couple right around 12:45a. Yay.

So, it's filed during the day Wednesday. I felt I was completely fed up. How many men does it take to 'escape' me not going to the zoo with the kids? (snarky intended) I don't see any other way to show I was serious about my open marriage boundary and the disrespect of OMs. I know she had an appointment to meet an ATTY, but apparently she hadn't filed yet.

I felt bad, mostly for the kids, but it was also a great relief and I knew I'd be alright. Now the courts can sort out her texting log, right?

Wednesday afternoon the W text to say her and coworkers were going out for a beer or two after work. Said she knew I had plans to go out about 7:30 (part of GAL) but she was going to be home no later than 6. I said that was fair, and she planned to go.

I fed the boys, went for a walk with them. She text at 6:15 to say she was finishing a beer and then on the way. After our walk, I text her about 7:15 and just said "6?". She replied with a pic of a half full beer and said she was finishing up and then going to leave.

At 7:50 I text to tell her the boys were ready for their baths. Got no reply. During the evening I had told the boys that mom would be home (at 6 right?) and then I was going to go somewhere. As I'm brushing S5 teeth, he asks if mom is coming home. I told him, "I don't know", which was an honest response, I didn't know. He then said, "if you are going out and mom isn't here, who is going to watch us". Complete with lower lip quiver as he said it. Broke my heart.

I bowed up and told him "I am not going anywhere. I will be here when you wake up. I promise." This calmed him down and we finished up. As I put him to bed we say a standard little prayer. S5 asks "can we pray that mom comes home tonight". So I prayed with him for that. Crushed my broken heart.

After putting him to bed, at 8:58p I text her: "Don't bother coming home tonight. Boys are read to and in bed. I'm not going out." Of course, no response. Did I say I felt bad about filing? That feeling was fleeting.

She finally gets home about . . . sorry, I got to get some sleep, more to come.