Is it really possible to have a great marriage after an affair? The kind where no affair ever happens again? Or is it once a cheater always a cheater?
H is looking ROUGH. Seems to have lost weight, and he didn't have it to lose. He was sort of friendly last night but I was terse with him, because of OW on Facebook and the blond in the park. I didn't explain myself. I don't really feel attracted to him at the moment. I want to respond when he's friendly but I'm so disgusted about the OW thing that I just can't. Responding to him has only gotten me more hurt and confused so I'm hoping that drawing back is right. Not that I even have a clear sense of a desirable outcome anymore. Last night he kept D11 out till almost midnight and blamed our neighbors for not leaving sooner, even though they were walking distance from the house. He also offered to her that she could stay at his place -- without consulting me. Even though it was my weekend with her. She declined, but he's acting like a self-absorbed adolescent and there's no point in looking for a marriage with someone so inconsiderate.
My brother today said that men are stupid and they have to believe they've already lost something before they realize how much it matters to them, and that I should think about myself and not worry about my H. I know that's the advice I've gotten here too.
One friend really wants to set me up with a nice, good-looking man she knows. While I would like to entertain that idea, I'm not ready, and I don't want to be a user. Another is pushing me to pursue the Nerdy Young Thing, but that's just gross -- he's even younger than OW! (Another sign H is nuts -- that he can't see that that's icky...) I can live single till I have a clear path in front of me. I just hope it's as obvious as the Yellow Brick Road and that I don't waste time in the poppy field or chasing down irrelevant quests from the Wizard.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
