rj2... thanks for the post over on my thread. You seem to be doing very well over here. I really like how you've gotten involved in things that interest him, things he wants to do with you. I think that's a great connection builder. Also, at least from your posts, you appear to have really great PMA. Consistent PMA has definitely been a key asset in most of the success stories I've seen.
Re: R talks, I don't think I've initiated any since I started DBing. When she brings OR up, I say very very little about how I feel unless she pushes me, and even then I'm careful that I'm not defending anything. I just try to give a polite and upbeat snapshot of how I feel. I've had the best luck if I'm primarily listening and validating and doing very little talking, except maybe to re-state something she's said on the occasion that I'm unsure what she means. If your H is less of a talker, I see no harm in making occasional use of re-stating. I think it helps them too--for them to hear what they just said come out of someone else's mouth, and have a chance to reflect on it.
