The Goddess and GUBU: Square Dancing at the Triple GGG Ranch

[GoatGal]

You're right, of course.

Saying what you suggested simply tells him that:
1. I heard him
2. I care

So, good response.
But I think I will wait until much later tonight to respond. It's just too weird.

For what it's worth, I really feel like his initial texts were how he felt or wanted to feel

That he wants to be here and that he really does like me (no matter how I'm dressed.)

But I also think he's very fearful and as soon as he put that out there, he felt the strong need to retract it--BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE.

So all the rest was backpedaling.

He has wanted to be here and he has enjoyed being around me. I know he misses many things about our life.
I also believe that he is terrified.

I think he has backed himself into a corner and although he might want to come home and try again on some level, I think the fear of failure/rejection and the need for him to change things about himself is overwhelming.

I understand this. I really do.

But it's not my job to fix this for him. I don't want a man who expects me to kiss all the boo-boos and say it's fine.
It's NOT fine.

I am the one who has had their heart dragged over the coals. To expect ME to do all the heavy emotional lifting while he sits in the catbird seat where he remains "safe" isn't going to happen.

"Pave the road"? Fine.

"Roll out the Red Carpet"? Not on your life!

In any case, I see this as continued movement forward on his part. It's new (though not "improved") behavior that shows, if nothing else, that he is working things out.

I'm really glad he will not be around tomorrow!


---(G)GGG