Don't romanticize "olden day" marriages. My H's paternal grandfather cheated on his wife. She found out, but always thought it was her youngest sister. I don't think she ever knew who it was (I don't, but I don't know that part of the family well). It destroyed her relationship with her sister. Completely. And I don't think the marriage recovered either. He had a stroke that completely disabled him. The family put pressure on her to keep him at home and not in a nursing facility, so she did. She was a fairly fragile woman, easily overwhelmed. It set the stage for a lot of the family dynamics that followed. I think the impact of all that reverberates down into my own H's affair and our separation.
His maternal grandparents were in marriage counseling when my MIL was in junior high, and she told my H that he was right to move out because marriage counseling doesn't work and it's better for kids to be in a happy home. Don't even get me started on the condition of her own 43 year marriage, or on my parents' and grandparents' marriages -- all long term.
I sounded really insensitive earlier, I apologize. I think if I'd been kinder and gentler when I commented, I would have been more supportive of the idea of letting go and enjoying your life. As you're clearly doing with your girlie drinks.
Enjoy your Saturday evening in spite of my curmudgeonly self.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
