The Goddess and GUBU: Square Dancing at the Triple GGG Ranch

[GoatGal]

Well, the Square Dance continues and H is mostly off the beat.

He was here last night, all pleasant enough, and I went to a Halloween Costume Ball, had a great time.

He seemed relaxed and in decent spirits.

So now it's about dinnertime and he's back at "his" house.

I just got this series of texts--I have not responded to anything yet because it's just too bizarre!

1. "Wish I could have stayed over tonight too, but too much to do for graduation tomorrow. "
"Soon we need to talk about the future--Me"

2. "I want to see you in jeans...and a crop top...just a dream..." (WTF?)

I was thinking about if/how to respond to the above ^^^ when this comes in about 20 minutes later:

3. "That was the old days...No more. no more. Time for the next chapter. BYE!!!!!!!!!"

He almost had me at the first two.
I was going to respond with something lighthearted but non-committal, like, "Would that be with or without baseball cap? "

But then I started to think about how this once again is about MY BODY. Seeing my body this way or that.
One of the issues in our R was his objectification of my body parts and separating sex from emotion.
So that was weighing on me a bit and I didn't want to "encourage" talk about how he'd like to see me--FOR HIS OWN PLEASURE.

But he nipped that in the bud himself.

Text #3 sounds testy to me.
As if he felt he extended himself emotionally, and the fact that I didn't respond (yet) made him lash out with that "No more...no more."
And "BYE!!!!" sounds a lot to me like "F-U!!!!!"

It stinks to try and unravel text convos like these.
It involves a LOT of mind-reading and I hate that. My guess is he's drinking, lonely, and irritated that I am not doing whatever it is he wants me to be doing.

On the other hand, any emotional bids from him should be fielded with care, so I do feel some type of response is warranted, not flippant and not joking. He doesn't take that well.

This is now the third time he's stated that he wants to talk about "The Future" and although he has been in my presence a lot lately, he's never said a word about it.

The other thing about these texts is that they are DIFFERENT.

After BD and OW, he said "I'll never be attracted to YOU again!" and other things along this line. As if I had upset him so much with my negative response to his adultery that he no longer felt he could trust ME with being close.

So him even mentioning the "jeans and crop top" means he is thinking about me in a sexual way.
(And I guess after he spilled that, he wanted to retract it.)

Oh--wait!!! There's MORE! This about 15 minutes later:

#4: "I'm sorry. That is not who we are. You are a good woman...It's just time to move on... Text when you are safe.... Me."

WHAT is "not who we are"? This makes no sense, so best to ignore.
So much for "I wish I could have stayed over tonight too and see you in jeans and a crop top."!
I swear the "time to move on" stuff is just him trying to hurt me for not--I don't know, doing the work for him?

It feels like he's MAD.
Why mention "moving on"?
He filed for divorce, I'm living my life mostly separate from him.
It feels like a dig at me:"Don't get the idea that I want to be around you. I don't. I want to move on..."

Blah, blah, blah...

Guess he is GUBU tonight! Alrighty then!

DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY SAY.

Clearly he's stumbling around somewhere in his tunnel and is bumping his head. I was waiting for the roller coaster to start again and here it is.
I knew that he was coming out of his funk, but from everything I've read, it doesn't go smoothly and I was prepared for GUBU to make several more appearances before this is done.
And he wants something from me here; he never writes this much, or about this sort of thing. He is rambling and reaching for something from me.

He's like the Beast with Two Heads, and both of them are talking:
"I want to talk about the future" --- "There IS no future!!!"
"I think you're cute"---"No I don't, you're horrible!"

Whatever....
Thoughts?


I am tempted to not respond at all. Just too weird. And I feel like anything I might say will just add to the confusion. I don't want to engage with that.


-----(G)GGG