moving with confidence to success!

[rj2]

Hi everyone!

I am steadily increasing baby steps in my sitch and therefore taking the stride into Piecing, since I am "acting as if"- that I know I am a success and it's just a matter of time before my M will be too, right!? I have many good signs that can only get better in time. Just like tiny bud on a plant gradually blossoms into a flower. Seeing signs of spring every day now!

Here's a brief intro/summary and progress for my sitch
Backround:
Me 30
H 28
no kids, 2 cats
S 4 mo.
M 7yr
R 9yr
2-way WAS's, I moved out in Nov- pretty quick gained sanity and found DB in Nov
bomb talk time- 5 1/2 mo ago
H is still at our old apt and my name is still on the lease

Place in progress:
-I am lovingly detached, and warm/connecting to H when I interact w. him- giving him space and drawing him in!
-H and I are at the good friend level- we keep getting a little warmer to each other in convos/visits steadily as time goes on. He tells me a lot of things in his life. We are both kind and considerate to each other -I am all the time, sometimes he gets critical(but I ignore!)
-H calls me every couple days, we visit once a week - sometimes twice. I don't have to initiate calls!
-no OW, nor does H have any interest in one
-H decided he didn't want to have to sell his ring and is holding onto it
-H has referred to me as his "old lady" a couple times to others recently. H's friend told someone I was H's girlfriend as well.
-H's best friends still have a pic of us up on their fridge
-Most of our friends believe we belong together- and that H just needs time- positive energy!
-H has openly said he likes me, wants me in his life- has no probs with me-- just "doesnt want to be M to anyone right now"
-no threat of filing has ever occurred since bomb time- then we decided jointly this was a "trial S"

My take on this is that H is dealing with personal probs in his cave right now- he shares his feelings with me- he's depressed, unemployed- thinks it's too demanding to provide for a W and pets-- this can only pass in time when H gets job and more opportunities in his career(which are starting to come his way- H is a musician.....) H actually has a huge audition coming up late March which could really send his career soaring!! He seems to be "holding out" until then to deal with the direction his life is going more decidely..... Has mentioned feeling "free"- but I'm wise enough to know that is a stage- H is depressed mostly and I think he is starting to see his probs go with him everywhere he goes- now onto showing him more and more how wonderful it is to have me in his life, b/c I am a wonderful person!

Here are links to my threads in newcomers if anyone is interested to see details on how far I've come! Looking forward to meeting you all here in piecing!

new, separated, on the ride
optimism and strategy breed success