So it brings me down more to think that someone I love is hurting and there is nothing I can do about it
Perhaps if you understood that this is a natural or necessary process in a WAW finding her way out of her crises. Sure it is hard to see her sad, but it is not your job to fix things for her or try and make her happy. Don't rescue her from these experiences she's having.
The wayward wife must see their fantasy collapse. They must be hit with hard reality. When things start happening that makes her feel uncomfortable or sad, don't try to shield her. I realize this is a new position to take, but it is for her own good. She has to deal with the anger, depression, dissappointments, and reality. She has to see how life without you will be for her. She has to discover that things will not be what she dreamed. She has to suffer some kind of loss.
All that is necessary in order for her to get back to her former self. Every time you interfere with that process, you slow things down.....or maybe even deter it.
It's like giving birth. The labor is long and painful, but necessary to produce such a favorable outcome.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
