Thanks labug and 25years. You've given me good stuff to think about.
25, you're right. There is no good reason, except maybe that he is a horrible person. (he's not).
And, you're right-- he did do me a big favor. I was forced to face one of my biggest fears. And look what happened? I've made it this far with my head held high, career moving forward, new friendships forming, feeling proud and happy.
Maybe my journey starts with envisioning what a new version of my life could be. A new partner, a new family, things like that. I haven't really allowed myself to consider that vision.
I'm a bit torn-- part of me feels like, in order to really move forward, he needs to know that I'm doing that. That means (to me), separating our finances, moving to sell the home, making it clear to him that I'm detached.
But, my DB coach (and probably my L) would say, I think, there is no need to do that. That the fact that HE hasn't moved forward on those things is a positive, and I should feel good about that and just be patient. That the fact that he's reached out and opened up to me a bit recently (recent gift, just today he offered to buy groceries when he took D to the store, trick or treating together, allowed me into his home for the first time last weekend) are all positives, and I should focus on those and use those opportunities to show him a different version of me.
But I feel like the advice I'm getting here is to accept that there's no hope and feel...good(?) that he left... that I shouldn't even want to stay M to him. I think I'm not totally understanding how this all works.
I am feeling tossed around a bit. And definitely not sure what direction to move into. Could I imagine a happy life with my H? At this point... maybe.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by my thread. It means a lot!
