Hate to start with a 2X but, never involve your child in gathering info on her mother.
You're absolutely right. I didn't feel right when I was doing it and I could feel it wasn't my best self who wanted to know. I go around telling people that it's normal that it's difficult, yet I falter too often when something's hard for me.
I realize that I don't DB all that well after all. I'm good at keeping my distances from my W and to GAL, but I'm still very much thinking about my W and little about doing things for myself. I compare what she's doing with what I'm doing all the time, feeling inferior in whatever I'm doing. I've a hard time not wondering what impact would any change or activity have on her, what she would think of it. I feel like I can't enjoy life fully until she returns. Even as I keep my distances, I feel I still need to learn to validate and speak her love language. I've been cold rather than neutral. I know all of this is wrong.
By the way, sandi2, what did you think of my clarifications on the boundaries. Is it about controlling her?
Originally Posted By: rd500
You have some great posters following your sitch.so listen to there thoughts.
Yes! I'm very grateful for all the guidance I get here. As I'm reading DR, I feel I'm getting the right kind of guidance and support to take me through this. I'm very, very grateful.
Last edited by Mozza; 11/01/1405:18 PM.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
