Dave, how much longer before you don't pass it up next time?
I totally understand those change in attitudes. I went from dedicated, to looking and wishing, to over the past 2 years or so giving myself permission to have an A if the situation arose. Not sure what i would have done if it had, but i had passed the point where i would not consider it an option.
Well now i pretty much have permission, given that i've stated that i'm done with trying to keep the marriage together. Wife has even started giving me safe sex tips because i have a trip to LV scheduled with some friends.
I'm not actively seeking anything yet, still wearing the wedding ring, but in some ways i do hope some situation arises for me sometime soon.
A came home and decided that I needed to give the marriage one final, good faith effort. And the other thing is....wait...did you say you've got permission? Holy Sh!t...this might be an option to propose if this last effort fails. I hate lying and never want to be sneaky but to actaully be "open" about it...I thought that was fictional (though some might call my bar incident unbelievable). I can almost see my W going for it except I would be out every night which would start to piss of W.
Back to my topic (wow, I'm still thinking about that one...hmmm).... Yep, I'm trying to cover all my bases be funny, respectful, etc...cover all the Love Languages, avoid all the Love Busters. etc. If she doesn't make at least a minor effort to change, and continues to make me feel rejected, I'm sure I will keep visiting bars with even more motivation to get some action. Just as I regressed into a mindset that put me into bars with anonymous women, I could eventually see pursuing a more "involved" affair which seems much more thorny than an anonymous fling on a biz trip.
Spent a lot of sleepless time last night dreaming about the HD woman I nearly had an affair with. My mind was making plans to send her a birthday card and make contact again. I know that she had strong feelings for me - she told me she would never marry again but later said she had changed her mind and would marry me if she could... but what would life actually be like with an HD partner? I am not used to sex every night. How would I feel if it was me being chased when I have spent my whole life doing the chasing? Would she humiliate me if I couldn't manage it some times? All these questions are racing round my mind. What if us HDs actually NEED an LD/ND to chase. If I was getting everything I think I want would I get bored with it and become an LD myself?
Quote: How would I feel if it was me being chased when I have spent my whole life doing the chasing? Would she humiliate me if I couldn't manage it some times?
Life with someone else would just have a different set of issues. Perfect sex does not make perfect relationships.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Dave36, not sure i expressed myself correctly there. By permission i meant "the marriage is over, time to move on", not keep the marriage and have an affair...although that may be what happens as we are not currently headed for a Divorce. Our friendship is intact and without my anger our relationship is doing pretty well, its all a bit weird to me. The past months i had been so focussed upon getting away from her, that now i'm standing confused wondering what to do.
