still holding on - 4

[PeterV2]

What you have to realize is that if listening that intently is a 180 for you, that means is a new skill that you're just learning to apply and as such it will seem a little forced to you and to her it will seem disingenuous, hence her saying that you're patronizing her. I've gotten that from my W when I've spoken validation statements to her.

This is to be expected. What I later said to my W was that I'm learning to be more emotionally present and empathetic and it's a new skill set for me that I feel will serve me well in my life, but please excuse me if it feels a little forced right now - it's something I'm just learning and soon enough it will feel more natural as I get into the habit of being empathetic. She didn't respond but took it in.