AMen sistah. Do you know, even after all of this time it sometimes hits me like a whack over the head with a baseball bat? Last night remembering my youngest son's wedding, it was so sad he wasn't there.
This is normal. If your marriage hadn't been good there would be nothing to mourn and over our lifetime I would rather have had the joy and happiness than missed out on all of that.
Anger is hard for people pleasers. Somewhere along the line you maybe picked the idea that your feelings didn't matter as much? Do you struggle a little with boundaries at times?
There is a brilliant book by John Gray (the Mars and Venus guy) about getting what you want and wanting what you get, which looks at all our emotional states and what lies behind them. I lent it to an abused friend (at her request!) and she found it incredibly helpful in getting in touch with all of her feelings. SO much so I never got it back!!
And there is your son's going to college. This is all tough stuff. We raise our children to be independent and it is wonderful when it happens, but that doesn't make it less of a wrench when they go. Espeically if they are fun people to be around.
Quote:
I know they'll be ok. I'm not worried that way. It's just the end of an era. It looked so much different in my head than it is in reality. And I'm sad. I wanted a family with a husband to see them off. And it's just me. It's always been just me for this big stuff. I've been a single parent, in many ways, since they were babies.
Shining you are right, you will be OK, but you will be sad at times - everyone here has down days, and we are all here for each other.
