Mindsin - pt. 5 (back to basics)

[25yearsmlc]

I Hope you are happy about that - b/c I sure am!

Congrats and yes, it's a huge positive that SHE said what she said. Savor this Mindsinks, and for goodness sake, stop the obsessive mind reading about OM.

If I were you, I would not have mentioned "wherever she is going to be safe" b/c to me (and I believe to her as well), it comes off as yet another remark you are making to show that you suspect/"know" she is with him and regardless you are SO NOBLE that hey, she should feel guilty...and face it, that IS the result and outcome you want.

Which means you are still manipulating her to control the outcome.

You are usually and mostly on the right track lately, but if you could truly STFU about OM and recognize when you are pretending to be quiet but not, it would help you finesse this completely.

You need NOT tell your wife how YOU will "make sure the kids are happy" (as if 'someone has to')

NOR how you HOPE she is safe....I cannot believe you don't recognize your own motives when they are transparent. I'm convinced you are resenting her, and it SHOWS...

You do this more than you care to admit, but what concerns me is that you deny what seems obvious . Yes, I am saying you said it b/c you are annoyed. But I'm betting you want to deny that to me.

You want to say NO, it's "ALL b/c I hope she is safe and NOT b/c I hope she feels torn and guilt ridden"...but to that, I'd say "I don't think so."

(See how much time we save by mind reading?)

Here are a few questions I wanted to ask you before.

Can you recall ever feeling guilt ridden or ashamed of yourself when you hired the prostitutes? How did you rationalize doing it again and again?

Did your wife's tears or anger ever affect you -- and if so, how?

Was it her threat to divorce you that finally got you to stop? What was it?

what was Your parent's marriage like and,

how was Forgiveness modeled in your childhood?

Thanks and again, congrats! I know how hard it can be to focus and achieve in times or turmoil so your powers of concentration are commendable!