Trying to stay patient- part 7

[sandi2]

I think in your stitch, and considering how everything has played out since the first, it would take more than you simply stepping back. But I don't think you will do it. When she comes right out and does something that makes you really mad, you talk about how you're through.....yada, yada. But in just a very short time, you change your tune (again) and start saying how she can take the lead or you'll just wait to see what she does, and if she still files for D then so be it.

Don't get me wrong, I like you. If I didn't I would not have stuck around. But I tried to tell you from the VP of a WAW what you should have done, and you've been just too weak and scared to do it. Now you've messed around with her so long, till I don't know if anything will work in favor of the M. But I can tell you this much, as long as she plays this game with you, there will never be stability in your relationship. She knows EXACTLY how to work you. She can dangle a little bait, you bite, and she yanks away. You get mad, she lets you cool off, and it starts all over again. If she told you she wanted to reconcile tonight, it would be no time until you would find yourself back in the same spot playing the same game.

You have not followed any advice given that required you to cut her off. All you have wanted to do is pursue, regardless of the advice given. You ask for our thoughts, but you do the opposite of what most of us have told you. I don't think it's about your great love for her. I think it is about your inability to detach and attempt to make a life for yourself. You are too co-dependent and weak, and don't respect yourself enough to reach for higher & better than this. Ask yourself why on earth you want a woman like this. And don't say it's for your kids b/c that's a cop out. You want her for "you". Why? You don't deserve better? Why would you settle for the kind of woman she is right now?

Here's the thing, Tarheel, even if she were to suddenly repent of her waywardness and beg for your forgiveness, you would (at first) think your prayers had been answered. You would take her back in a heartbeat. However, as soon as you realized you had won.....and she wanted you, do you know what you would do? You would start questioning your feelings for her. Your resentment would take over and you'd discover forgiving and putting it in the past was not so easily done. Then you would become the WAH, in heart anyway.

B/c Tarheel, all your focus has been on getting her back. You've done nothing else. You are needy, go back on your word, and you simply lust after the "win" of her. When she pulls away, it makes you want her even more. But it isn't some great love behind all of this. You want what you can't have! If you get it......then you won't want it.

So does it do any good to try and tell you what to do or not do in the stitch. You are going to let your feelings dictate your decisions anyway.